Under the desolate foggy sky sat a single grey building upon a bridge. Beneath the badly aged bridge lay water as still as concrete. In front of the building were six scared soldiers whose eyes were as wide as an owls and filled with fear.
What an awesome writing task to do! I love the way that the use of the prepositions gives me directions to think about. It makes your writing take on a “3D” feeling- like I could be IN your writing, turning and looking where your sentences are directing me.
Is there a reason that you have combined the idea of owl and fear together in your final sentence? How do you select you descriptive phrases- do you think your writing might have stronger imagery if you looked for a “theme” for your vocabulary choices?
Miss Macdonald 🙂
Get the latest posts delivered to your mailbox: